Chapter One : One

Kids are allowed to wander or wonder for the fact. They are allowed to run around. That sense of freedom, the reality of it all hits you even when you are a kid. It almost felt like there were no restrictions. Almost I say until you realize that there are locked doors and jailors-’adults’ who look  out for us so it seems. Making sure that we don’t get into any trouble. That kills that sense of freedom the very moment it is felt.

I was once a kid. Loving the morning air, the breath of a new day, the rays beckoning you to wake up and bask in the day. What beats a good day but a great morning. There is nothing comparable to it. The feeling that fills you as awake to a wonderful day. Nope, that’s all lie… Which kid in his right mind would love the morning. Being a 4 1/2 year old kid, all I wanted was my sleep.. My wonderful glorious superb sleep.. Nothing could beat that out of me.

I would wake up anytime I want. Did anything I want at the whim and fancy of good old me. You would be lying to yourself to say you did not enjoy a good sleep. One that was free of disturbances, free of bother.. Free of mummy screaming at the top of her lung or dad with his I’m going to kick you out of bed now whether you like it or not. I’ve come to believe that the only reason why they wanted us kids out of bed was because they had to themselves. If I can’t sleep in, you can’t too. No siree, no way you’re getting more sleep than me cause I work 12 hours a day. I put food on the table. I get up way earlier than all of you. I bring money back. I put clothes on you. I make you shower. I make you breakfast.. So no, now you gotta wake up when I wake up, when I say so.

There’s a lot of I in this chapter because that’s how it all begans most times. It is I, that kid who grew up to be that kid with those kids. In the beginning there was one, me. It felt like I was all alone. Me and the big world. A world filled with four walls and a wierd hole in the wall that opens up and closes up. Only the big people could open that wierd hole, never could figure it out. What little me, go out there. You must be out of your mind.

I remember that very day. Kindergarten or kindygarden or kindergarden…. Could never quite figure that out. Now back to what we started off with. I remember that very day. Woke up early, ya go figure why. Was all dressed up by my beloved mother. Ol’ good mother, that love and wants all good things for you. How she loves you to bits. Getting me all primped and proper, so it seems to the big people. There was a certain pattern to proper-ness or how we should look good. How we look, how we dressed that made sense to them but never to me. It never did make much sense to me.

Picture this just for a minute with me. I was about 2ft tall, pretty tall for kids my time. Just the right kind of height that will get you places… Hair black, with the right side parting all the way to the left. Now your hair has got to be wet, a certain kind of wetness to give you that ultimate sleek look. Now that my hair is in place all straight, we musn’t forget the hair gel. Swab a dab, the whole thing on my hair. Why be generous with it, don’t hold back. It wouldn’t be right. That cuts it just there. That brings a certain edge to the hair or rather keeps it on the edge. That whole ordeal just took 30 minutes of my life which I could have been using to plot how I could make my millions.. Maybe that’s why I’m missing out on my million dollar deals. Those hair pimping sessions. Dang it! Getting a little off track here.. Back to the story. As I was saying, hair. Yes, swanky hair-do. Awesome. Next was the fitting. Getting the right fit, wearing the tux that fits. I had a nice tux I have to say. Looking back at my picture. That tux look pretty fine I must say. There I go, off track again. Once I got it all fitting right where it should be to the all seeing big people. I was ready to take off. Now what was missing…. ahh… shoes. Those black sparkly shoes that shine. I had none of those tho. No no… All I had was canvas shoes, those fancy shoes that had cartoon characters on them. That was what I had. After all the effort, that just had to come in and fit right in. It wouldn’t be right without those. Now I was ready to go, ready to take off.. Ready to take on the world.

Look out ! Here comes Joe, to knock you off your shoes.

Ahh.. the days were fun and many. I do miss those days. Things seemed much simpler. Where did it go?
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“Say you will, marry me… This is not the end but the start.” -@david.chc

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Fun time during New Partners Welcome Dinner..

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The two delighted birthday boys… Good fun 7

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The birthday boy..apologies, shaky hands..

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Intense discussion….

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Stress relievers……

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My Confessions

i have a confession to make. yes, I have confession.this thing has been running in my mind for many years now and i think its time to come out of the closet and admit it.(long sigh of breath)..
here it goes, i have an addiction. yes you heard me correctly, i have an additiction and it runs deep like a the straits of malacca. i dont even know where to began from. i guess it was about 7 years ago in the year 1999, my friend brought me to have an experience.it was one i will never forget, i got my first hook there and then. wen i got hooked, it felt so good. i felt almost delirious with the pure raw excitement of joy that it gave me back then. running back prior a few months before i got my first hook, i  was a boring old dull person. not that im any more interesting now compared to then. there was a total lack of liveliness in me. life felt nonsensical and living each day was like just a boring old day to day routine of waking up, studies, back home, studies and then sleeping.
there was such a sense of hopelessness and dissapointment in life itself.
now fast forward back to my first hook.i know knew what the meaning of joy was.my sense of living was now being filled and i felt lifted up. it almost felt like walking on clouds and there was a sense of freedom in all that ecstasy of joy at the moment. i really felt like running around and telling people around me how good it felt.i would have looked like a madman and people would definitely look at me in bewilderment.no.. they would never understand. i could write a million tales and dance a thousand beats to the audiences around and they would just stare.no.. they would never understand until they tried what i tried.
i dont know how long more i can keep this up.at the moment it doesnt look like im going to give up anytime soon.
im glad about that and as long as i live, this addiction within me is staying. now let me just clarify things here a little, my little addiction is this thing i call the “love of christ” and my first “hook” was the salvation i received many years back then. that sense of joy and peace came when He took charge of my life and giving me the holy spirit which now resides within me.
frankly speaking, im glad. im glad i took that chance many years ago and im not regretting one moment of it. im living the life that many could only imagine. there is life in abundance and excitement because christ brings forth the “purpose of being” through and in me in many ways that i could never have thought of. this brothers and sisters is my confession of a living addict.
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It’s you

Humans or creatures all over the world have a similar ability. This ability shines brightest when those around seems to be trying to hit us. That is what you call a “defense”. What do you naturally do when someone accuses you of something? Right before you say anything, your’e thinking… NO! it’s not me… Not my fault.. Not my problem..

What happens when you see something wrong that happens out there. In a sense of self-defense, we hit out on another. Saying, yes.. it’s your fault! You shouldn’t have done it.

That is our innate ability whether we admit or not. It happens, whether we say it or not. We think about it. We can’t help but let these thoughts wonder in our mine.

I’ve been reminded that I’m living in a country filled with great oppertunities and endless possibilities. It can get tough at times when those around says that it’s the World’s fault that I’m not making it. It’s my dad’s fault that I never got a great education. My teachers fault for never giving me that oppertunity to run in competitions and so forth..

When will we start being that catalyst of change.

I am reminded, that it starts with me. I’m nobody greater than what I claim to be. I will never be better that what I say I cannot be. I will fail at all attempts right before I began just because I say that it’s you. your fault that I never had the chance.

I want to believe more and more. Say it more and more. Show it more and more. That I live in a nation that I’m part of making. That with me, I can do so much more. I refuse to give in to those petty demands of seggregation and exclusiveness. I desire for a change that beckons a strong sense of unity because of what we are inside and not of what people say we are.

One day, even as I speak. I can see our nation changing, moving for the better. Perception can be elusive. Let’s leave it at that. We need to start taking that step moving forward and not rekindle those loving affairs with a tragic past. No more. Leave history as it is, the future is for us to claim if only we would.

It’s you. Continue reading

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Where did IT go right?

bribe omkoopgeld soborno rushwa
行贿 rasuah สินบน suhol
行賄 賄賂 رشوة 뇌물
δωροδοκία soudoyer pecunia suborno

The WORD bribe in many languages.

“Bribery, a form of corruption, is an act implying money or gift given that alters the behavior of the recipient. Bribery constitutes a crime and is defined by Black’s Law Dictionary as the offering, giving, receiving or soliciting of any item of value to influence the actions of an official or other person in charge of a public or legal duty.” – taken from  Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bribery)

“Transparency International (TI) defines corruption as the abuse of entrusted
power for private gain.” – taken from Transparency International (http://www.transparency.org)

Interesting stats to show where your country is standing in terms of PERCEPTIONS
http://www.transparency.org/policy_research/surveys_indices/cpi/2010/results

The HOW in a nutshell the stats are calculated
The CPI 2010 is calculated using data from 13 sources by 10 independent institutions.
All sources measure the overall extent of corruption (frequency and/or size of bribes) in the public and political sectors, and all sources provide a ranking of countries, i.e. include an assessment of multiple countries.

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Malaysia is ranked 56 globally with a score of 4.4 sitting together with Namibia and Turkey. While ranking 11 in the Asia Pacific region. Our neighboring country Thailand ranks at 78 globally and 14 regionally, not too far from us. As for Singapore, it sits1st globally and regionally. Amidst all the complaints within Singapore, they still ranked high in confidence perceive by their countrymen.

As a Malaysian, I doubt many of us share the same sentiments as the Singaporeans. Where did IT go right?

One of the stories on Transparency International talks about a citizen named
[GRÉGORY NGBWA MINTSA]
Putting aside fears for his own safety, Mintsa courageously joined TI France and Sherpa in December 2008 in calling for an investigation into Bongo and two more African presidents suspected of large-scale foreign embezzlement. As a taxpayer, Mintsa sought redress for damages caused both to himself and the entire nation.

Check out more stories here http://transparency.org/news_room/in_focus/2010/integrity_awards_2009_2010

Listening to these stories makes me wonder. What happened?
Even as a kid many of us in one way or another has bribed possibly..
Giving candy to a kid to follow you, pay a dollar to get someone to wash your car and so forth the list goes on. These are seemingly small matter because the impact of it just stops there so it seems..

But on a larger scale of things, lets say a Traffic Officer lets someone off for a speeding ticket by taking a cash for his benefit. The guy could just go on with no remorse and possibly causing a life to be taken. Sounds familiar?

What about a contractor that pays to get his AP out quick. Where’s the check and balance? The accountability. The concern only comes when a building collapses and lives are lost.

We live in a society where corruption has subtly penetrated our systems and make it seem ok, a norm to do it. Everyone does it. When is the economy going to get better with all the so-called “surplus/additionals/benefits/extras” going out?

I’m determined not to claim or to say that the people around our systems are corrupted. I’ll give them the benefit of a doubt until facts are proven. Let’s not point fingers. Let the first person that has not bribed whether big or small throw the first accusations…

I’ll play my part, set an example and set my foot right. Not just because it’s right but because there’s too much injustice in this world to not make this right. One small step to fight poverty and provide equality to all. Abundance I believe will follow after..

What would you do differently today?


                            
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